conversation #46
How to make sure you never have to talk with the religiously preoccupied again:


Me: Can you tell me why you keep going back to using drugs?
Client: It's Satan. Do you know the Price of Darkness?
Me: Well, it's not like we're on a first-name basis...
- posted by not_jane_addams @ 11:20 AM

 
laying the smack down
It's because of sessions like these that I'm getting a reputation around here:

Client: I'd love to be in treatment here, but I don't think it will fit into my schedule.
Me: You're homeless and unemployed, right?
Client: Yeah.
Me: So what do you have to do that's better than coming here?
Client: You know... I got business to take care of.
Me: In other words, you're too busy out on the streets getting high. You spend so much of your day trying to find faster ways to kill yourself, you just don't have the time to come here and get well.
Client: But...
Me: I completely understand. You have business to take care of. You have to get out there and poison yourself and your mind.
(brief pause)
Me: Well, you better get back to it. You better get out there and cop. Go make your mamma proud.
Client: My mamma?
Me: Is she still alive?
Client: Yeah... but what does she have to do...
Me: When she's collapsed on the floor at your funeral, when she kicks her feet and pounds her hands on the ground screaming about her baby, after you die of an overdose, she'll be glad that you took care of so much business.
Client: Wait just a minute...
Me: (standing up) I'm going to leave you alone for a couple of minutes to think about it. Then, we'll take another look at your schedule.
- posted by not_jane_addams @ 12:30 PM

 
conversation #65
I'm doing an individual session with a client.

Me: You have to find a way of coping with stress that works for you.
Client:I know what works for me. Crack works for me.
Me:Really? You've been using crack for 10 years, and you live in a refrigerator box. It doesn't seem like it's working for you.
Client:You might be right. How about heroin, then?
- posted by not_jane_addams @ 10:47 AM

 
you can't argue with logic
A client in group was confronted today, about his substance abuse. His reply is classic:

"My way might be crazy, but it's how I've always done it."
- posted by not_jane_addams @ 11:51 AM